Michelle* was tragically bereaved of her husband four years ago. It was a sudden death at a difficult time, leaving her newly widowed and very broken. How do you survive when your life has been hit by disaster? Here Michelle describes in a few words one of her own strategies for getting through. “The only…
Respecting the wishes of the deceased and living our own lives sometimes blend together without too much difficulty, but on occasion it’s a bit more complicated and hard decisions must be made. In my time running the Living with Loss project I have led more candle-lighting remembrance services than I can recall. Then there are…
To be bereaved by suicide is widely accepted as being one of the most difficult bereavements to cope with. There are so many unanswered questions and endless possibilities for blaming yourself. To be bereaved by the suicide of one of your children is exponentially worse. As a parent you want the best for your children.…
It would seem that money would be the last of someone’s concerns when a loved one has died. The heartbreak, the sadness, the loneliness, the rollercoaster of emotions, the acute pain of simply missing them is enough to bear, surely? If you are someone with tens of thousands of pounds or more in the bank,…
This well-known poem by David Harkin might seem challenging when you are freshly bereaved and the tears keep flowing. But in time, the sentiments in this line can help propel the griever forward. See what you think. He is gone You can shed tears that he is goneOr you can smile because he has lived…
(A bit of personal history on a significant date.) Pax my little son died age 3 in Bhopal, India following an episode of acute hemolytic anemia. Despite the doctor’s best efforts, tragically he could not be saved. That was on 27th May 1982. I don’t want to spend a lot of this 40th anniversary thinking…
A walking analogy Yesterday I went on another walk as part of my 40 mile challenge remembering Pax. I had a route planned along a canal followed by a long path that would take me eventually to the beautiful National Trust gardens in Biddulph. 10 miles. John dropped me off at the Red Bull pub.…
A reflection on however much we may empathise with others, we don’t see life through their eyes, and just as truly, nobody should try to interpret our life through their own. We each have to walk in our shoes and find our own path. With all of the talk about ‘walking a mile in someone’s…
A Valley Journal 
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