An act of kindness and the gift of remembrance

A personal post.

It is May 27th, and exactly 37 years since Pax, my little son, died aged 3 in a hospital in Bhopal, India.

In less than 4 weeks, it is my daughter Catherine s birthday. She is turning 39, something I find hard to conceive as she was just weeks off her 31st birthday when she died.

2 days after her birthday, it is mine. A mother who had outlived both of her children can’t have a truly happy birthday, and that isn’t my goal. Rather, this rather emotional time is one I endure by finding ways to honour my children’s memories.

Some efforts have been more successful than others, but two are now enduring.

Friends are invited to do a kind deed in Catherine’s memory, but let’s not forget Pax either! Due to his shortened life span, more people knew Catherine, but really it should be the “Pax/Cath memorial kind deed”. People sometimes tell me what they’ve done, which is extra special. One year I lit birthday candles on her cake, each one representing a kindness performed in her memory, but the last years have been too many.

The other project is raising money for the Samaritans charity by walking as many kilometres as my age. I can’t do it in one day, but I usually spread the challenge out over a week. This year I will begin it here, in Australia, and finish later back home in the UK. That’s 62 if you are wondering, which is a sad reminder to myself that I am now double Catherine’s age, and 20 times Pax.

I enjoy these challenges and they give me a focus for what can be a difficult month. Even if I won the lottery, I probably couldn’t come up with something better, especially the “kind deed” which helps other people plus keeps my children’s names alive.

I will begin now for this year, and if you want to join in the Pax/Cath Kind Deed Memorial you are most welcome. Especially on 19th June but anytime really. And let me know if you wish.

I will post updates and pictures of my walk periodically.

3 thoughts on “An act of kindness and the gift of remembrance

  1. Pingback: Summer 2019: 62 km photo-story & other news | A Valley Journal

  2. Abi, sending you Love & warm hugs today & for you Anniversary’s in June. I too would love to walk more but cannot at present as I am not very well. However I wanted you to know how much your posts mean to me & that I am thinking of you at this difficult time. You have helped me in the past & continue to do so through your work with TCF to which I am closely linked after the loss of my Wonderful Brothef Marc from suicide in 2014. I do know that I am so very very Lucky to have had him in my life for 56 years. For this reason I have recently started Volunteering with TCF & recently helped out at their ‘Sibling Retreat’ at Woodbrooke in Birmingham. So thank you Abi for being there for all of us who are grieving too, albeit in a different way to you & I am so very sorry for your losses, with Love & warm hugs, Karen H Ivey xox ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Karen for your kind comment and encouragement. I’m sorry for your loss of Marc. It’s great to hear you’re volunteering with TCF. Sending love


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